Archive for mai 2013

Nouvelle lubie

12 mai 2013

Parfois je suis prise de trans pour faire quelque chose que j’ai jamais fait auparavant. C’est bizarre et je ne me l’explique pas. Ça a été le cas depuis mon enfance, j’ai débuté avec le dessin, en essayant à chaque fois une nouvelle technique jusqu’à adopter finalement, mais pas définitivement je pense, les portraits au pastel.

Je suis passé par la photo, les instruments de musique, l’écriture,  le papier mâché, le bricolage, le collage, la fabrication de jouets et meubles en carton, le tricot, le crochet, la couture (pas trop), le jardinage, la cuisine, la pâtisserie et j’en passe.

La semaine dernière j’ai commencé par récupérer différentes perles et breloques et j’ai constitué un collier et un bracelet. A partir d’un chapelet, une ceinture, un cordon en cuir et une chaîne en argent.

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Puis je me suis dit, pourquoi ne pas en fabriquer des tous neufs? Et me voilà investie d’une nouvelle mission. Chercher chez les bijoutiers et autres vendeurs de perles, les choses qui me plaisent, apprendre les techniques, dépenser, me  doter de pinces, fils, argent et autres et je commence à fabriquer des bijoux. Mais je n’en suis pas encore à un stade très avancé.

C’es comme si mes incarnations précédentes prenaient le relais pour vivre à travers moi, chacun sa période.

Voici les créations des derniers 2 jours dont certaines sont encore en cours :

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Publicités

The day I met the devil

6 mai 2013

For my american, english readers and friends, here is a translation of my post https://amina31.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/un-jour-le-diable-est-venu-me-voir/

I would love and appreciate feedback. Sorry for the language, errors and writing style.

One day the devil came to me. How do I know this is the devil? Well, it’s hard to say and yet I am convinced. First of all he appeared suddenly. I was sitting on a park bench and reading a book. I noticed no movement nor did I hear any noise, on any of my sides. And it’s not that the book was so exciting. There was no one, then, there he was, sitting next to me, just as if he had been there all along. And he was beautiful, divinely beautiful, devilishly handsome. Not in the genre of top model, supermodel, or the guys you see in the magazines, or actors, or anyone. Rather a type for which many women would kill. Not only one woman.  Rather dark haired. The body divinely sculpted, features beautifully drawn. He reminded me of the David statue by Michelangelo. Except that David has an angelic beauty, he had rather a demonic beauty.
And after these things I’ll tell you, I still have no definitive proof that he is the devil, but I know, and that’s enough for me.
Without waiting, without any introduction he told me: « I’ll make a bargain. I’ll give you a chance. You get to pick a moment in your past life, any one, and you can live again your life after that moment, but there is one condition, you cannot change the course of your life, or any event, it happens exactly the same way. What already happened will happen again. »

-And what do you earn in this market? I asked

-Nothing special, the show, the study of human over and over again. You are exciting and I do not get tired of it.

-You mean you’ve already suggested this to others? I said while I was trying to gain some time to think, but I was worried. Maybe he knows what I’m thinking of.

-Don’t worry, he said, take your time. And to answer your question: some, yes, over the centuries.

-And they made their choice, or have they rejected your offer? Now I was really curious about that.

-Some agreed, others refused because leading a miserable life; they did not want to relive it, instead they asked me to shorten it.

-And you did it?

-No, God only shortens life. I just enjoy myself. I give fun and a good time to those who ask for it.

-But they don’t really ask, do they? You propose!

-It’s not really important, given that they accept what I propose.

-mmmmh, ok! Those who have accepted, did they regret it or were they satisfied with the deal?

-I do not know, I didn’t ask. I just watched, and simply left at the end.

-Were they famous people?

-Some of them!

-Who, for example?

-Oh a lot, some of them you may not know. Mozart is one of my regular customers, I had to make him the proposal several times.

-Why?

-Because I love his music. Because he died too young.

-And he accepted every time? -I don’t know why but already knew the answer, Mozart was very prolific, I never understood how he did it in such a short time.

-Yes, every time, even though he knew the outcome, his certain and surprising death, he never hesitated. He loved composing and wanted to do it indefinitely. In the end it was me who was at a loss to stop our little game.

-It pained you?

-No, but I was getting tired of him.

-Something bothers me!

-What?

-You said we couldn’t change anything in the course of our lives?

-Yes.

-Mozart, did he compose different pieces each time? I cannot explain otherwise the amount of work he did.

The devil smiled:

-Didn’t choose you by chance, it seems. But I can’t answer that question.

-Thank you, it’s already an answer. And you said you loved his music, you must have been blind to certain exceptions to your law.

The devil seemed more and more amused.

-How did he manage? Did he bury works in some place in order to find them each time he came back. Isn’t that a paradox? Is it possible?

-I’m not the kind of person you should ask those questions. Possible and impossible for me are the two sides of the same coin. Everything is possible if I want it.

-Or God wants it?

-No. God doesn’t intervene no more in your lives. His last intervention was in the flood, but he regretted it and vowed never to get involved in your lives again.
…..

-I’ll keep the memory of my future life, in this market, reliving my past?

-Yes, you have the memory of what will happen. You will know, but you will not change anything.

-But how can I not to intervene, for example in 1998 I had appendicitis, which untreated became peritonitis. I almost died. Knowing that it’ll happen to me, I can tell the doctors and they will intervene earlier.

-You should not intervene, it’s part of our deal. And even if you tried, I will intervene to stop you. And then I think it was you who told the doctors that you had appendicitis, it has not changed much. They didn’t believe you.

-Hmm. Yes, that’s kinda how it happened. But it was a dark period. I do not know if I can do it. Too much pain!

-You can, you’re here is the proof. And you can also pick any time after.

-I would love to go back to my years in Paris, but I do not know if I’ll have the courage. Maybe, after the master because it was a hard year too.

-And your childhood? Your father? Don’t you want to see him again? I know you loved him too much.

-You know love? How strange!

-As strange as it may appear to you, but yes, we know love and hate, and anger too.

-My father?…. Of course, but I will have to come back very far in the past, my father died when I was only thirteen.

– You can go back as far as you want.

-Even in the womb?

-Yes, even that.

-Hum. Not that much anyway. I don’t remember it, and don’t like the idea to be in the water. Let me return to my father. I cannot tell him not to go to work on January 3, 1984? The day he died?

-No. And even if you did, he won’t believe you either.

-Then it is useless to see him again, anyway, he would die one day or another. I will see him again when it’s my turn. I mean dead!

-Then no other time that thou wilt live again? Your first love, maybe?

-My first love is an asshole and even if we had good times I have absolutely no desire to see him again. –Saying that, I wondered if I was lying to myself?

-And your grandmother?

-Oh! I’d love to see her too, I love her, I miss her stories, her kindness. I’d like to sleep in her arms, or even hold her hand in silence. What we did once.

-And?

-And then no. Same conclusion as for my father. I’ll see her again another day unless you tell me that after death we see no one.

-I do not have the right to reveal to you anything on these points. It is the monopoly of God. He does not like it being touched. He lets us have fun, but there are certain rules to follow.

-You don’t need to tell me anything. If you’re here is that God exists, and that life after death also exists, and I’ll see them again.

-Proof of the existence of life after death is not the issue. The question is whether or not you will see your family in the afterlife?

-Do not make me doubt that. Coming back to your proposal. Can I ask you a question?

-Yes. Go on!

-How come you are so nice? Yet you’re the devil, right? Oh and this is not the question …

-I’m not nice, I’m only patient, I have eternity before me and I am in no hurry. Your question now!

– Oh I think you already answered, but you never know, I still have to try…

-I told you that you’re interesting, you humans.

-Do you have any women? of devils, I mean!

-No and I think it is unfortunate indeed. I would have liked to see the capabilities of the variant female of our species.

-Yes they would have had more imagination, I suppose …

– ….

-Can I kill someone in my past?

-No, you already know the answer, unless thou hast already killed before.

-Yet it is tempting. My first husband, a real bastard that one. I took him to Martinique for the honeymoon. I had already disenchanted from the day of our marriage, immediately after the ceremony. After our return, I regretted not having « lost » him in some way there. He wears glasses, and once he didn’t, he sees almost nothing. I could have taken him somewhere, removed his glasses, on one pretext or another, and left with the rental car. He would never have found his way back and with the landscape of Martinique, he would stagnate in a ditch or a ravine.

-You’d make a good addition to our ranks, but your plan is too simple, you would be quickly found.

-I would have claimed not to have seen him that day, that he went out alone, etc. … or better, I would have told myself the police, saying he had fallen, that he had had an accident.

-A little better I confess, with more time you would have found.

-Then? I can?

-No.

-Pity, but I wanted to try anyway.

– Well, you decide? It’s not that I lack patience, but … I like to know!

-Why are you interested, I’m not Michelangelo or Mozart, what things do you like in my life? And if we can not intervene, what changes for you, you already know all of our past?

-First, this discussion. Dialogue between us right now is what is most interesting in my approach. Every time I make this proposal to someone he or she goes through several stages of reflection, and tells me about it, and it challenges me. I like how you operate, how you think. Then re-experiencing a period of life, knowing what will happen in one day,  in a month, or in one year increases your stress, and that’s where you’re beautiful. Everyone reacts differently.

-Let me think. If I return to my early childhood I should start again primary school and it would be painful. If I go back to the age of 8, for example, it would be nice at first, then I would have to face  the death of my father again, knowing it in advance in addition, and this is unacceptable, unbearable even. Mmmmhhh, if I return to my teenage years …. No! Too sad, alone at home with my mother and my grandmother …. If I choose the period of the university, pffffffffffffff, too many teachers that I would want to kill, it’s not worth it. After then? Paris, I feel like it, but after the master, so I do not see Personnic again, -one teacher I had and who had hurt me terribly with my Tunisian friends-even if at the end of the year and when I spoke to him frankly, making him understand that he was cruel, and that his field- computer’s architecture- didn’t please me that much and anyway, it was quite incongruous with training and with what I wanted do next: a thesis much softer in Human Computer Interaction, after that speech he acted like a true man and gave me just the score I needed, not to fail, while I was ranked highly in all other modules. Weird, isn’t it? The thing I remember best in that famous year of master is that of confronting a racist teacher, I managed to coax, despite himself, I would say.

So after the master? I should redo a thesis that is absolutely worthless, except I have dug up this job that I love sometimes and hate some other times. Why not? It tempts me I confess, for the context of this period. By cons I should re-submit my return to Tunisia, my appointment in teaching, my appendicitis …. No, never that. After? What? My first year teaching in Monastir? Never, ever. My transfer to Tunis and my battles with my new director? Either! My first marriage, we’ve already talked about and I cannot promise that I will not intervene at this level in my life. Not worth it. What I have left? Few years, my second marriage, the birth of my children … I ‘m living it already and I think that ultimately, I’m happy. And thank you, for letting me understand, for helping me to achieve. But I still would like to ask you two things.

-Yes? I had expected.

-If I had accepted, things would they really happen exactly the same way?

-Yes, absolutely.

-And what if I did like Mozart did to you? Break the rule? Do what I want to do? Would you have let me?

He remained silent. I was thinking : maybe I should try…

-So, you should have returned to me with the same proposal at the same time in my life when I’m sitting here reading this book? So it would be eternal, it would happen every time, and unless I refused, it would never stop??

– ….Smile ….

-You do not answer!

– …..

-Finally, my last question: will you please come back to make me this offer when I’m sixty years? It might interest me then ….